Surrender

by tjbeitelman

For what it’s worth:

Sometimes — let’s face it: almost always — the Universe is way smarter than the likes of me. (Almost? What kind of fool am I?!)

Sometimes that feels interminable and oppressive. Like, seriously: when will I stop being such a f#$-ing moron? But sometimes it’s the most life-affirming, say-yes-to-the-world thing there could ever be.

Lately (luckily) I can report that I’ve been feeling lots of the latter, less of the former. In particular (if you’re keeping score at home) my transcendent shock and awe has been directed mostly at the following:

  • Yann Martel’s Life of Pi, especially: the introduction, chapter 6, chapters 30-33, chapter 66 and chapter 99. But really all of it. In the order it was put down.
  • Son Volt’s Okemah and the Melody of Riot, especially: “Afterglow 61,” “Jet Pilot,” Medication,” and “World Waits for You.” But really all of it. In the order it was put down.

All of it gives me goosebumps and, if I let it, it’d make me cry those tears you cry when you’re not sure why you’re crying but you feel more alive and honest and in-your-own-skin precisely because you’re crying about this particular thing you don’t know why you’re crying about.

You made this? I want to say. To the makers. But…how?

Don’t worry: you don’t have to like what I like. (Duh.)

But you do have to like what you like.

Really, really like it — no matter what anybody else says — and be dumbfounded/awed by it and thereby let it make you feel (strangely) affirmed in your high opinion of yourself. (There’s so much that can just tear us down, isn’t there?)

Yes. This is your task in this strange world.